Over Demanding Parents
by Metropolis Kid
Summary: One-shot. Warring! This is a Crack fic. I had too much Iced Tea one night and this was the result. The Frasier Crane Show is doing a special on over demanding parents. John calls in.


Over Demanding Parents

Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

"And just to remind you all, Our topic today on the Frasier Crane Show is over demanding parents. Well Roz, who do we have on the lines now?"

"On line one we have John from California. On line two we have Dick from Gotham. And on line three, Zuko from… well he wouldn't tell me."

"I see. Well lets start with John then, shall we?" Frasier hits one of the buttons in front of him. "Hello John. I'm listening. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well you see, Doctor Crane, my mother is always pushing me. Do your own homework. Have you finished The Big Book of Military Strategies that I got you last Christmas? You need to field strip that AK-47 faster…"

"Excuse me John, but did you just say something about field stripping an AK-47?"

"Ah, yeah."

"What possible reason could your mother have for wanting you to field strip an AK-47?"

"Well, she thinks that it's important that I learn everything I can about every weapon available."

"And, why does your mother think this?"

"I don't want to tell you. You'd never believe me, anyway."

"Come now, of course I would. In therapy, the psychiatrist and the patient need to have total honesty with each other or no progress can be made."

"Well, okay; but remember, you asked for it." John takes a beep breath and lets it out. "It's because of the machines."

"The machines?"

"Yes, specifically the Terminators. You see they're after me. They want to kill me, and mom wants to make sure that I can use any weapon to defend myself."

"So you believe that machine exterminators are after you?"

"Not exterminators. Terminators."

"I see. And what exactly are these machine terminators?"

"Well, they're cyborgs. Metal endoskeleton covered in synthetic organic skin."

"And your mother told you that these cyborg terminators are after you?"

"Yes."

"That's horrible."

"Tell me about it. It's terrifying. They could be anywhere, anyone."

"No that's not what I mean. John, listen to me. There are no terminators out to get you."

"You don't believe me! You said that you would!"

"Now, just calm down. I believe you. I believe that your mother told you that these terminators were out to get you, but she's wrong. You're perfectly safe."

"No one's ever safe."

"What about me, John? I'm safe. And Roz and all the people you see walking down the streets, they're safe."

"No they're not. They just think they are."

"Oh really? Well if they're not safe, how come you never see them getting killed by these terminators?"

"Because the Terminators aren't after them, only me."

"I see, and why are the terminators after you."

"Because I'm going to stop Skynet in the future. That's why it sent back terminators to kill me!"

"Now just calm down, and think. Have you ever actually seen a terminator?"

"Yes! My sister is one for crying out loud!"

"So you think that your sister is trying to kill you?"

"No she was reprogrammed and sent back to protect me."

"I see, and who sent her back?"

"Well that would be my future self."

"A huh, your future self sent a reprogrammed version of what's trying to kill you back to protect you? Doesn't that strike you as a little strange?"

"Not really. That's how we got Uncle Bob."

"And just who is Uncle Bob?" Just then Frasier can hear shouting on the other line.

"John give me the phone!"

"No, you got to get free therapy! Why can't I?"

"That wasn't therapy! That was forced institutionalization!"

"John give your mother the phone. This is endangering our ability to remain undetected."

"Fine."

There's a click on John's end of the line. Frasier starts asking, "John, John are you still there? Can you here me?"

Roz cuts in, "Well, I guess we lost another one."

Over at the Connor's house:

John storms off to his room and slams the door.

Cameron observes, "It appears that John is upset with you."

Sarah replies, "What else is new?"

Cameron cocks her head to the side, then responds. "Well the bees are becoming extinct and no one knows why."

Sarah sighs and walks away.


End file.
